Bullying clip

This is an excellent clip of a bullying situation in progress. I recommend viewing the clip before you read on……. Let’s do some analysis: The bully is being highly intimidating. He is aware that he has an audience – that may, or may not, affect how he is behaving. I would guess that he is putting on a show and wants to show everyone how tough he is. He may still have had the confrontation without spectators, in which case it... Read More

Testimonials

Testimonials Read More

Case Study Part 2

I found Charlie and his Dad, Ian, very easy to work with. They were very keen to learn new skills and were very open minded with the concepts I was putting across. This made the training session relatively short. We did about 5 hours actual training time. (A maximum time would typically be around 7 hours). First of all, we did a couple of exercises on how to feel good under any circumstances. We used body language, imagination, rapport, facial expressions,... Read More

“Bully made me suicidal”

Let’s begin this blog by comparing physical and verbal bullying. Last week the BBC reported the story of a 14 year old girl who decided to commit suicide. A boy taunted her with racist insults over a period of 7 months AFTER the school stepped in to deal with the problem. She felt she couldn’t confide in any of her teachers and the school had advised her against getting her Mother involved again. Fortunately, her suicide attempt failed.... Read More

Why is the bully picking on me?

This is the question that seems to crops up the most often from people being bullied. In many of the email enquiries I receive, I am asked this question in various different ways: “What have I done to deserve this?”, “what’s wrong with me?” etc. If you have ever asked yourself this question, I would like you to immediately change your focus. I want you to understand what is wrong with the question. Whose fault is the bullying? When a... Read More

Physical Bullying

There seems to be a widely held perception that physical bullying is more severe than other forms of bullying. In my experience, I find this to be far from the truth. I have asked a great many of my clients the same question: “If you had the choice of ongoing psychological bullying, name calling, sneering etc., or just taking a physical beating which would you prefer?” Almost everyone says they would prefer the physical beating. The reason for... Read More

When someone constantly makes fun of you

I was asked a great question on Facebook: “What is the best way to handle someone who is very good at taking the p and the other person is not. When I look at people I find it very difficult to pick out anything bad about them as I don’t think it’s in my nature to do so. Thank you.” Only fight battles you have already won The first thing I noticed, when reading your question , is that you seem to think the right thing to do is fight... Read More

New Testimonial

I’ve just received a lovely email from one of my clients. She has kindly given her permission for me to post it online: hello, sorry its taken so long to get back to you. I would just like to say a huge thankyou to yourself for being so kind to help me and shalaine after you read our story in the paper. What a difference you have made in helping us that now shalaine has more confidence in herself and she has really excelled so much that the... Read More

Case Study Part 1

On Saturday I worked with a client in London. Both he and his Dad have already written about their experience on an online forum and are keen for me to use them as a case study. I have sent this to them for approval before posting. Here is an outline of Charlie’s situation: He has been bullied physically, regularly, over a 2 year period. Specifically, he was being beaten up by large groups of boys. The bullies would pre-arrange what they were going... Read More

CBBC Bugbears

I’ve just discovered CBBC Bugbears. What a wonderful concept. It’s a bit like creature comforts but children get to create their own messages online. Giving children a voice to be heard is so important. More importantly, they have to be able to feel good about talking. Often, children follow this pattern: 1) Feel the need to talk to someone and tell they are being bullied 2) Imagine how the conversation will go: Think of the worst case... Read More