Boy 14 threatens to shoot bullies: Sun article

While The Sun’s article may seem shocking, it is very common for victims of bullying to fantasise about retribution. The benefit of this fantasy is short term. It allows the person being bullied to feel some sense of control – in their imagination they can do whatever they like. It’s unfortunate for this child that he displayed his fantasy, in writing, on a forum which resulted in the police raiding his home. The good news is that... Read More

How to Deal With Bullying

There are many ways of dealing with bullying. Some are more effective than others but the most important thing to appreciate is that every bullying situation is different. What will work well in one situation may well make things worse in another. Because each bullying situation is unique, you need to be flexible. Bullies are usually very flexible themselves. They have to figure out which techniques will hurt you the most and which ones will get the... Read More

Case Study Part 2

I found Charlie and his Dad, Ian, very easy to work with. They were very keen to learn new skills and were very open minded with the concepts I was putting across. This made the training session relatively short. We did about 5 hours actual training time. (A maximum time would typically be around 7 hours). First of all, we did a couple of exercises on how to feel good under any circumstances. We used body language, imagination, rapport, facial expressions,... Read More

Bullying is Subjective

What are your definitions of bullying? Are those definitions useful to you? One of the major problem schools have in dealing with bullying is in how they define it. It’s not just a paper exercise in thinking up labels, it makes a massive difference as to whether the organisation takes action as result of an incident or not. If you have a child who is being bullied at school, the school will only help them if the teachers believe that whatever has... Read More

National Bullying Helpline

The National Bullying Helpline is a charity set up to help eradicate Bullying in all corners of our society; in the Workplace, the Playground, in the Home and in the Community. BULLYING IS DISCRIMINATION. BULLYING DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE … any one of us may be targeted Call 0845 22 55 787 for help The National Bullying Helpline was initially founded to assist those who struggle with bullying at work. There is much focus today on Workplace Investigations,... Read More

Bullying Awareness Campaigns

Bullying awareness campaigns can be very effective at getting a message out that there is a problem which must be addressed. This can create some much needed public pressure to get some action taken. I wonder though if they do enough and I wonder how they could be made more effective. I have become increasingly sceptical of bullying awareness campaigns. Having questioned many organisers of such campaigns I have discovered a trend. When I ask what... Read More

Bullying at the Workplace

Bullying in the workplace is rife. One study* suggests about 1 in 4 people are victims of bullying at their work at sometime in their lives and that 1 in 12 are bullied on a regular basis. Bullying is so commonplace in our work environments that it has become ‘normalised’. We are so familiar with it that we unconsciously allow it, accept and, for many, take part in it. Perhaps we learned this in school. We have simply transferred the ‘social... Read More

Testimonials

Testimonials Read More

Why is the bully picking on me?

This is the question that seems to crops up the most often from people being bullied. In many of the email enquiries I receive, I am asked this question in various different ways: “What have I done to deserve this?”, “what’s wrong with me?” etc. If you have ever asked yourself this question, I would like you to immediately change your focus. I want you to understand what is wrong with the question. Whose fault is the bullying? When a... Read More

Bullying clip

This is an excellent clip of a bullying situation in progress. I recommend viewing the clip before you read on……. Let’s do some analysis: The bully is being highly intimidating. He is aware that he has an audience – that may, or may not, affect how he is behaving. I would guess that he is putting on a show and wants to show everyone how tough he is. He may still have had the confrontation without spectators, in which case it... Read More