Boy 14 threatens to shoot bullies: Sun article

While The Sun’s article may seem shocking, it is very common for victims of bullying to fantasise about retribution. The benefit of this fantasy is short term. It allows the person being bullied to feel some sense of control – in their imagination they can do whatever they like. It’s unfortunate for this child that he displayed his fantasy, in writing, on a forum which resulted in the police raiding his home. The good news is that... Read More

Why is the bully picking on me?

This is the question that seems to crops up the most often from people being bullied. In many of the email enquiries I receive, I am asked this question in various different ways: “What have I done to deserve this?”, “what’s wrong with me?” etc. If you have ever asked yourself this question, I would like you to immediately change your focus. I want you to understand what is wrong with the question. Whose fault is the bullying? When a... Read More

Physical Bullying

There seems to be a widely held perception that physical bullying is more severe than other forms of bullying. In my experience, I find this to be far from the truth. I have asked a great many of my clients the same question: “If you had the choice of ongoing psychological bullying, name calling, sneering etc., or just taking a physical beating which would you prefer?” Almost everyone says they would prefer the physical beating. The reason for... Read More

I Missed My Education

Inspired by the following post on facebook I have written this article on the consequences of bullying, how to avoid them and how to deal with them after they have happened. If what you read is relevent to you then I’d like to hear from you. “I have been bullied ever since school so i didnt go i have now left so i missed my education because of bullys bullying is horrible and no one should go through it” It is a tough choice. Suffer on-going... Read More

National Bullying Helpline

The National Bullying Helpline is a charity set up to help eradicate Bullying in all corners of our society; in the Workplace, the Playground, in the Home and in the Community. BULLYING IS DISCRIMINATION. BULLYING DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE … any one of us may be targeted Call 0845 22 55 787 for help The National Bullying Helpline was initially founded to assist those who struggle with bullying at work. There is much focus today on Workplace Investigations,... Read More

Bullies

In order to change the behaviour of bullies it is important that we understand them. Most people find it difficult to comprehend bullying. How could people be so cruel? What would make someone want to hurt people? In this article, I would to offer you some insight into the mind of a bully so that you have a starting point for designing some ideas which can help to change the way they behave. Most bullies don’t know they are bullies. They don’t... Read More

Case Study Part 2

I found Charlie and his Dad, Ian, very easy to work with. They were very keen to learn new skills and were very open minded with the concepts I was putting across. This made the training session relatively short. We did about 5 hours actual training time. (A maximum time would typically be around 7 hours). First of all, we did a couple of exercises on how to feel good under any circumstances. We used body language, imagination, rapport, facial expressions,... Read More

Bullying is Subjective

What are your definitions of bullying? Are those definitions useful to you? One of the major problem schools have in dealing with bullying is in how they define it. It’s not just a paper exercise in thinking up labels, it makes a massive difference as to whether the organisation takes action as result of an incident or not. If you have a child who is being bullied at school, the school will only help them if the teachers believe that whatever has... Read More

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How to Deal With Bullying

There are many ways of dealing with bullying. Some are more effective than others but the most important thing to appreciate is that every bullying situation is different. What will work well in one situation may well make things worse in another. Because each bullying situation is unique, you need to be flexible. Bullies are usually very flexible themselves. They have to figure out which techniques will hurt you the most and which ones will get the... Read More