Ignore bullies?

When training teachers in schools, I like to have them reflect on how they currently deal with bullying. I ask this: “When a child comes to you and tells you someone has said something nasty to them. How do you treat this child? How many of you would tell the child to “Just ignore” them?” Cue a sizeable group of teachers putting their hands in the air. Then I ask the question: “Which child is the one being ignored here?” The... Read More

How to help your child

It can be incredibly frustrating being a parent of a child who is being bullied. Most parents would do anything to protect their children from being deliberately harmed by others but often they can feel powerless to help. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is being bullied but they won’t tell you about it. Or if they do, they will give a vague description of what is going on, likely missing out the very details you want... Read More

Physical Bullying

There seems to be a widely held perception that physical bullying is more severe than other forms of bullying. In my experience, I find this to be far from the truth. I have asked a great many of my clients the same question: “If you had the choice of ongoing psychological bullying, name calling, sneering etc., or just taking a physical beating which would you prefer?” Almost everyone says they would prefer the physical beating. The reason for... Read More

Bullying Advice

Every bullying situation is different. Bullies have a knack of finding out what buttons to press to get the reactions they want from you. So you have to be adaptable. Use the following general ideas by adapting them to suit your situation. Realise that bullying is ALWAYS ABOUT THE BULLY. I can´t stress this enough. People bully because they get something out of it. Sometimes it´s a feeling of control, significance, power or even inclusion. If they... Read More

Bullies

In order to change the behaviour of bullies it is important that we understand them. Most people find it difficult to comprehend bullying. How could people be so cruel? What would make someone want to hurt people? In this article, I would to offer you some insight into the mind of a bully so that you have a starting point for designing some ideas which can help to change the way they behave. Most bullies don’t know they are bullies. They don’t... Read More

How to Deal With Bullying

There are many ways of dealing with bullying. Some are more effective than others but the most important thing to appreciate is that every bullying situation is different. What will work well in one situation may well make things worse in another. Because each bullying situation is unique, you need to be flexible. Bullies are usually very flexible themselves. They have to figure out which techniques will hurt you the most and which ones will get the... Read More

Bullying Advice for Parents

It can be incredibly frustrating being a parent of a child who is being bullied. Most parents would do anything to protect their children from being deliberately harmed by others but often they can feel powerless to help. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is being bullied but they won’t tell you about it. Or if they do, they will give a vague description of what is going on, likely missing out the very details you want... Read More

Can Dads stop and ask for directions?

For school bullying, the vast majority of people who contact me are Mums. If they like what they hear, they then have to consult the Dad and their child to discuss whether or not to ask me to get involved. If a potential client doesn’t book, it is usually the Dads who ‘put their foot down’ and said no to the idea. It seems that the Dads mostly want to be able to solve the problem themselves – even if they don’t really... Read More

Bullying Help

If you are being bullied then you need to get help. You can go to a specialist, such as myself, you can go to a friend, a work colleague, a family member or, in some cases, the police. Make sure the person you go to is someone you can trust and who will listen to you. Also, have in mind an idea of what kind of help you might want. Do you want someone just to share the problem with? Do you want them to intervene directly with the bullies? Do you want... Read More

Being Bullied

An incredibly common question for victims of bullying to ask themselves is “Why is it happening to me?” Often this leads to a second, and an entirely unhelpful, question: “What’s wrong with me?” Unsurprisingly, the answers you come up with can lead to low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and reclusiveness. None of this will make the bullying stop. In fact, it’s far more likely to make you an even tastier target for the bullies. The question... Read More