Being Bullied

An incredibly common question for victims of bullying to ask themselves is “Why is it happening to me?” Often this leads to a second, and an entirely unhelpful, question: “What’s wrong with me?” Unsurprisingly, the answers you come up with can lead to low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and reclusiveness. None of this will make the bullying stop. In fact, it’s far more likely to make you an even tastier target for the bullies. The question... Read More

I Missed My Education

Inspired by the following post on facebook I have written this article on the consequences of bullying, how to avoid them and how to deal with them after they have happened. If what you read is relevent to you then I’d like to hear from you. “I have been bullied ever since school so i didnt go i have now left so i missed my education because of bullys bullying is horrible and no one should go through it” It is a tough choice. Suffer on-going... Read More

Physical Bullying

There seems to be a widely held perception that physical bullying is more severe than other forms of bullying. In my experience, I find this to be far from the truth. I have asked a great many of my clients the same question: “If you had the choice of ongoing psychological bullying, name calling, sneering etc., or just taking a physical beating which would you prefer?” Almost everyone says they would prefer the physical beating. The reason for... Read More

Bullying Help

If you are being bullied then you need to get help. You can go to a specialist, such as myself, you can go to a friend, a work colleague, a family member or, in some cases, the police. Make sure the person you go to is someone you can trust and who will listen to you. Also, have in mind an idea of what kind of help you might want. Do you want someone just to share the problem with? Do you want them to intervene directly with the bullies? Do you want... Read More

Bullying Advice for Parents

It can be incredibly frustrating being a parent of a child who is being bullied. Most parents would do anything to protect their children from being deliberately harmed by others but often they can feel powerless to help. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is being bullied but they won’t tell you about it. Or if they do, they will give a vague description of what is going on, likely missing out the very details you want... Read More

How to Deal With Bullying

There are many ways of dealing with bullying. Some are more effective than others but the most important thing to appreciate is that every bullying situation is different. What will work well in one situation may well make things worse in another. Because each bullying situation is unique, you need to be flexible. Bullies are usually very flexible themselves. They have to figure out which techniques will hurt you the most and which ones will get the... Read More

How to help your child

It can be incredibly frustrating being a parent of a child who is being bullied. Most parents would do anything to protect their children from being deliberately harmed by others but often they can feel powerless to help. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is being bullied but they won’t tell you about it. Or if they do, they will give a vague description of what is going on, likely missing out the very details you want... Read More

Case Study Part 2

I found Charlie and his Dad, Ian, very easy to work with. They were very keen to learn new skills and were very open minded with the concepts I was putting across. This made the training session relatively short. We did about 5 hours actual training time. (A maximum time would typically be around 7 hours). First of all, we did a couple of exercises on how to feel good under any circumstances. We used body language, imagination, rapport, facial expressions,... Read More

“Bully made me suicidal”

Let’s begin this blog by comparing physical and verbal bullying. Last week the BBC reported the story of a 14 year old girl who decided to commit suicide. A boy taunted her with racist insults over a period of 7 months AFTER the school stepped in to deal with the problem. She felt she couldn’t confide in any of her teachers and the school had advised her against getting her Mother involved again. Fortunately, her suicide attempt failed.... Read More

Case Study Part 1

On Saturday I worked with a client in London. Both he and his Dad have already written about their experience on an online forum and are keen for me to use them as a case study. I have sent this to them for approval before posting. Here is an outline of Charlie’s situation: He has been bullied physically, regularly, over a 2 year period. Specifically, he was being beaten up by large groups of boys. The bullies would pre-arrange what they were going... Read More