Bullying Advice

Every bullying situation is different. Bullies have a knack of finding out what buttons to press to get the reactions they want from you. So you have to be adaptable. Use the following general ideas by adapting them to suit your situation. Realise that bullying is ALWAYS ABOUT THE BULLY. I can´t stress this enough. People bully because they get something out of it. Sometimes it´s a feeling of control, significance, power or even inclusion. If they... Read More

Stop Bullying

In order to stop people bullying, it is important to understand how people are motivated to change their behaviours. If you are being bullied then, at the moment, the bullies have some motivation to bully you. They gain something emotionally as a result of hurting you. Emotional needs are incredibly powerful. All of us meet our emotional needs in one way or another. Some people use very positive means to meet their need and some people can... Read More

Bullying Help

If you are being bullied then you need to get help. You can go to a specialist, such as myself, you can go to a friend, a work colleague, a family member or, in some cases, the police. Make sure the person you go to is someone you can trust and who will listen to you. Also, have in mind an idea of what kind of help you might want. Do you want someone just to share the problem with? Do you want them to intervene directly with the bullies? Do you want... Read More

Bullies

In order to change the behaviour of bullies it is important that we understand them. Most people find it difficult to comprehend bullying. How could people be so cruel? What would make someone want to hurt people? In this article, I would to offer you some insight into the mind of a bully so that you have a starting point for designing some ideas which can help to change the way they behave. Most bullies don’t know they are bullies. They don’t... Read More

Being Bullied

An incredibly common question for victims of bullying to ask themselves is “Why is it happening to me?” Often this leads to a second, and an entirely unhelpful, question: “What’s wrong with me?” Unsurprisingly, the answers you come up with can lead to low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and reclusiveness. None of this will make the bullying stop. In fact, it’s far more likely to make you an even tastier target for the bullies. The question... Read More

Bullying in Schools

It is very likely that more school pupils suffer from bullying than any other group of people. Children are in the process of developing their social skills. They are learning what they can and can’t do in social situation, what works and what doesn’t and what they can or can’t get away with. This completely natural process, where everyone is discovering their possibilities and limitations, is bound to breed bullying behaviour. Teachers and... Read More

How to help your child

It can be incredibly frustrating being a parent of a child who is being bullied. Most parents would do anything to protect their children from being deliberately harmed by others but often they can feel powerless to help. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is being bullied but they won’t tell you about it. Or if they do, they will give a vague description of what is going on, likely missing out the very details you want... Read More

Can Dads stop and ask for directions?

For school bullying, the vast majority of people who contact me are Mums. If they like what they hear, they then have to consult the Dad and their child to discuss whether or not to ask me to get involved. If a potential client doesn’t book, it is usually the Dads who ‘put their foot down’ and said no to the idea. It seems that the Dads mostly want to be able to solve the problem themselves – even if they don’t really... Read More

Bullying is Subjective

What are your definitions of bullying? Are those definitions useful to you? One of the major problem schools have in dealing with bullying is in how they define it. It’s not just a paper exercise in thinking up labels, it makes a massive difference as to whether the organisation takes action as result of an incident or not. If you have a child who is being bullied at school, the school will only help them if the teachers believe that whatever has... Read More

Respect Me Annual Conference

Today I attended Respect Me’s annual conference. I thought it was really good. They had lots of inspirational ideas and a great overall focus. The main theme was on children’s rights. Children have the right to an education and have the right to be protected from harm within schools. Additionally, they have the right to know what their rights are. I like this focus. I’m all for empowering children. When implemented well, it empowers... Read More