Mr Bullyproof
This is the question that seems to crops up the most often from people being bullied. In many of the email enquiries I receive, I am asked this question in various different ways: “What have I done to deserve this?”, “what’s wrong with me?” etc. If you have ever asked yourself this question, I would like you to immediately change your focus. I want you to understand what is wrong with the question. Whose fault is the bullying? When a [...]
Dealing With Bullying at School
Mr Bullyproof's Articles
Every bullying situation is different. Bullies have a knack of finding out what buttons to press to get the reactions they want from you. So you have to be adaptable. Use the following general ideas by adapting them to suit your situation. Realise that bullying is ALWAYS ABOUT THE BULLY. I can´t stress this enough. People bully because they get something out of it. Sometimes it´s a feeling of control, significance, power or even inclusion. If they find someone that [...]
In order to stop people bullying, it is important to understand how people are motivated to change their behaviours. If you are being bullied then, at the moment, the bullies have some motivation to bully you. They gain something emotionally as a result of hurting you. Emotional needs are incredibly powerful. All of us meet our emotional needs in one way or another. Some people use very positive means to meet their need and some people can be very destructive [...]
If you are being bullied then you need to get help. You can go to a specialist, such as myself, you can go to a friend, a work colleague, a family member or, in some cases, the police. Make sure the person you go to is someone you can trust and who will listen to you. Also, have in mind an idea of what kind of help you might want. Do you want someone just to share the problem with? [...]
In order to change the behaviour of bullies it is important that we understand them. Most people find it difficult to comprehend bullying. How could people be so cruel? What would make someone want to hurt people? In this article, I would to offer you some insight into the mind of a bully so that you have a starting point for designing some ideas which can help to change the way they behave. Most bullies don’t know they are bullies. [...]